Happy Saturday, friends! Can you believe it's our last Share 4 Somethings of this year? I hope you plan on joining me again in January! Stay tuned until the end of this post for the prompts for 2026. For one last time this year, I'll be talking about what some things I loved, some things I learned, some things that went well, and some things I let go of this month. I'll jump right in!
Something I loved this month: all the family time, the festive feeling that was in the air, all the fun traditional things that I love this time of year.
It was definitely a joyful month!
Something I learned this month: I'm not fully healed from the hurt of divorce. That sounds so deep and dark, but it's something I've come to realize. It's a process, and I probably need some more counseling. I'm going to work on getting some sessions scheduled in the new year; I found out that I can get amazing, free counseling through my work insurance! What a blessing that will be, right? Even though this is the case, I'm also healing more and more through a healthy relationship. That may sound weird, but it's through someone else loving me that I'm learning to do that again as well.
Something that went well this month: Christmas! All the planning, buying, wrapping, list-making, checking things off, and preparations finally paid off. It was well worth all the effort that it took this year! I feel like I was full steam ahead until my birthday, then I kind of lost the Christmas spirit. It all worked out, though, and the day was a success. Most importantly, I got my one night a year when all of my sons were under my roof for the night. That's the real gift of the season, and a fun night at home was had! I enjoyed savoring that night; I was off my phone and present the entire time that we were together.
Something I let go of this month: I am always having to let go of the thoughts that I have regarding how I want something to turn out. I have these expectations that I always talk about that can seem unrealistic; I keep having to learn how to lower them or even go in with zero expectations. I don't know why I struggle with this so much, but maybe it's just the turn that my life took that made it worse again? I feel like I'm always disappointed in something, and I really dislike this feeling. If you have some thoughts or suggestions that may help me with this, feel free to send it my way!
Alright, friends! In 2026, each month on the last Saturday of the month, we will meet back here to talk about something we loved, something that sustained us, something we're carrying forward, and something we're making space for. Those prompts will stay the same for the entire year, so jot them down or add them in a note on your phone! Thanks for being here today, friends! I'll see you back here on Monday to recap the weekend and Christmas. Love to all!
Jenn
Oh I struggle with letting expectation go too! I tried really, really hard to go into Christmas with none this year and kept reminding myself that no one else in the house cared that much so I could just let it go and enjoy myself... and I did! But it definitely took extra effort to remind myself that I didn't need to plan and stress and picture the perfect day. I think one reason why Christmas has never been my favorite is that I always felt let down because it never, ever lived up to my expectations. I honestly think I enjoyed this year the most because I was able to work on managing those expectations.
ReplyDeleteI have tried talking to myself about this as well, but it doesn't work. Maybe it's because I stop doing it, though? I'm glad this worked for you this year! That makes sense as to why you don't love Christmas because of struggling with that year after year. I'm so glad this year was different, though. My day was wonderful; my expectations more or less had to do with the days leading up with all my sons. I didn't get nearly as much time together with the five of us that I'd have liked. It's hard to make everyone's schedules align.
DeleteTo echo Joanne, it's the expectations that can derail Christmas faster than anything. When the kids were little we could make it as close to our vision as possible. But as kids grow, marry and have in-laws and kids, all of your vision is out the window. Christmas has become a time of stress and honestly, I'm always glad when it's over. All that being said - we had a good day and a crazy, wild time with all the kids. But back to your post :) I'm sorry you're still having some hard days with everything, but my goodness...it's a traumatic event. No one can expect you to be over it. Divorce is essentially a death and it's a grieving process that takes time. You will heal, but it will take its time to get there. That's ok. In the meantime, you have a lot of blessings to focus on instead. And about feeling disappointed - I can relate. I have chalked it up to my personality of wanting everything to be perfect, as well as the fact that we live in a world that's not our home. We will never be truly satisfied here on this earth. That's my 2 cents. I hope you have a great weekend :) We are sweating down here in Texas, but apparently by Tuesday morning we will be freezing! Take care my friend :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! I get the feeling of being glad when it's over; I always feel the same and I think it's why I'm ready to yank down all the Christmas decorations immediately after. Mine are still up, but they're coming down Monday. I always have to remind myself that it's okay that I haven't fully healed yet. It hasn't been enough time yet; I'm sure someday it will happen, but in the meantime, back to counseling I go. I have that same personality type, my friend. I get that! Oh, we've been sweating here too, but it's all changing on Monday. I hope you enjoy your weekend!
DeleteI think the free counseling would be so beneficial! I totally get what you are saying. You are in a healthy relationship now and can't help comparing certain things. As women, we stay and we make things work. That's all you were doing in your marriage. You are not to blame or at fault and you didn't know what you didn't know - I'm playing armchair psychologist here, of course.
ReplyDeleteI love that you had that night! I was really flexible this year - gives myself pat on the back - worked around work schedules and kept my expectations lower and we had a nice Eve and Day. I'm so grateful and thankful. We also had a nice day at Tom's parents' yesterday.
I think so too. That's true about the comparison and what we do as women: we stay and we make things work. I will always allow you to play armchair psychologist to me!
DeleteI love that you were so flexible in your holiday this year! Way to go, my friend, I'm proud of you. That isn't easy for us moms of adult kids! I did a lot of hanging out with my people, it just wasn't the five of us that often. Drew always seemed to be missing, or Graham. I'm glad your day with Tom's parents was nice! I enjoyed our texting that morning.
I enjoyed reading this and had hoped to have something to write for the prompts for today but that didn´t happen- perhaps later as I see the link up stays open for a while. I am glad that you got to spend time with your sons- to have them all under your roof for one night. That is no easy feat when one lives several states away and others not in the house any longer. I´m sorry you´re still hurting from divorce; complete healing may take years but thankfully you´ve been able to see and experience great inroads. Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I always keep the link open for a couple of weeks, so you have plenty of time. I loved having them all at home, and you are right about it not being easy. I know you understand this as well! I didn't expect for it still to feel this way; some days are definitely worse than others. Other days I feel completely normal and I don't give anything a thought. It's such a conflicting range of emotions! That's the part I don't love, honestly. I am thankful for the progress I've made, I will say that. I know counseling will help. I hope you enjoy your weekend!
DeleteYou are doing great friend as you celebrate the good things that come your way, little or big, and feel the hard things as they come. Healing is taking place in all of these situations. I love the picture of Nick and Jonah, so cute!
ReplyDeleteYour Something did make me smile, what wonderful photos and how great to see you on stage with the choir.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the counselling sessions, healing is going to take time and I am glad Chris is helping you through it.
I am glad you had a good Christmas!
I struggle with expectations as well- it is human nature- you have to give yourself grace and look how far you have come in such a short period of time! You are on the other side as they say- it is only up from here XO
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your vulnerability here. I think we all struggle with expectations in various areas of our lives; it's part of being human because while it's fun to look forward to things, it can also be so disheartening when the outcomes differ from our imagination. We all need extra compassion for ourselves for this! :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, healing is such a long journey, yes? I've been healing from a different kind of relationship break from four years ago, and although I do see progress I've made, I'm still not where I'd like to be. Again, more grace for all of us.
I love the new prompts! I look forward to another year of linking up. Thanks for hosting us. This is one of my favorite linkups.
Your outfit is so cute! I hope 2026 brings lots of happiness, healing, and hope! Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog and so happy I did. I appreciate you laying everything out for us. It is a hard thing to do. Prayers for you!
ReplyDeleteGrace & Peace,
Pam
I missed this by a mile and still haven't had time to do the final four somethings in December. We moved and life has been super chaotic. The new prompts are interesting, and I think will be hard, LOL! They will take more thought, for sure. Happy New Year!
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