Happy Tuesday, friends!
I'm so glad that life resumed normal for me yesterday. I enjoyed my break, but I have changed so much that I loved being back at work. I enjoy being home when I'm here, don't get me wrong, but I actually thought this last week about having too much time on my hands. I feel like this is such an answered prayer for me! It could be the opposite, and I could be totally exhausted. And some days, I am! But for the most part, I'm just grateful...grateful to have a job that I love, for the new friends this job has afforded me, that I am able to live life and make it on my own, keep up with my bills, handle problems that arise when I have fraud attempted on me with my credit card...I could keep going, but you can see why I was feeling grateful yesterday when I was thinking of what I wanted to write about today.
I also feel like I could be bitter about this, but I'm choosing not to be. I'm grateful that God has worked on my perspective and for the attitude that He has given me. Again, this isn't to say that there aren't hard days that pop up; there are, trust me. All I have to do is remind myself of some of these things, and before I know it, I'm back to experiencing His peace that surpasses all understanding.
For the record, the things I listed above are things that I actually dealt with and thought of yesterday as I was killing time at work. Sometimes I lose sleep over worrying about something I've forgotten to pay, or whether or not I'll have more attempts with credit card fraud. Is it normal that I've experienced this several times in about four months? Asking for a friend! Anyway, all of this got me to thinking about what I want to share today, about going through the motions of a life that never ceases to surprise me. I hope you enjoy this!
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If you had told my younger self what my life would look like right now, she probably would have laughed...or stared at you in total disbelief. Not because the life I have now is bad—actually, it's the opposite—but because it's different in ways I never expected.
Some surprises come with fireworks. Others slip in quietly, changing everything in a way you don't fully notice until one day you look and realize, "Oh...this is my life now."
And honestly? I'm learning to appreciate both kinds.
I think most of us grow up imagining a pretty straight path. You picture how things will unfold—love will look like this, marriage will feel like that, your career will move steadily along, your happiness will follow predictable lines. And then real life steps in with its plot twists, heartbreaks, joys, redirections, and people you never saw coming.
Some of those twists knock the wind out of you.
Some save you.
And some reshape you so completely that you're almost grateful for the moments you once feared.
My current life is surprising...in the very best way.
It's quieter than I thought it would be, but it's deeper.
It's less planned, but it's more honest.
It's marked by detours I never wanted at the time—but those detours are exactly where I found strength, softness, laughter, and love I didn't even know I needed.
And that's the most beautiful thing about a surprising life: it teaches you to stay open.
Open to healing.
Open to letting go.
Open to starting over.
Open to joy that shows up unexpectedly—sometimes long after you stopped believing it would.
I used to think stability came from knowing what would happen next. Now I think it comes from trusting myself to handle whatever comes my way.
So here's to the life I didn't plan—the one that still turned out meaningful, rich, full of lessons, full of second chances, full of people who show up in ways that feel like gifts.
Here's to the surprising life...the life that feels, somehow, even more like mine than the one I'd pictured.
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I hope you sense the frame of mind I'm in when I write like this; I'm not mad or sad, but reflective. These are all real things that I think about often, some of them good and some of them not so much. There are things that I'm doing now that I'm not used to having to do, and sometimes it's overwhelming trying to remember it all. I said to my sister last night that somedays I feel like I'm doing an amazing job of life; other times I'm failing miserably (kidding, I know I'm not actually doing that). I'm learning, though. I'm learning to remember that it's a process, and it's one I'm becoming more and more accustomed to as the months tick by. There are real things that I worry about, though, most of it being financial. I'm making strides to ensure that I have enough money to cover my bills and living expenses. I'm constantly thinking about the future, and I'm planning. As long as I keep making forward progress, I think this is good.
I'm always reminding myself to be mindful, to pray about all of these things that take up brain space in my head, and trusting that God will see me through each step of the way. After all...
Right? I saw this yesterday and saved it to my phone as a gentle, constant reminder.
Before I wrap this up, I wanted to share something from my day yesterday. We had a morning session at work, when our administrators fed us breakfast and our principal encouraged us to keep going to finish out this school year strong. I love this woman, by the way, and consider her a personal friend. Kristie greatly inspired me to choose a word for my year, and though it wasn't something I'd planned on doing, I decided to give it a go and see what I could come up with. After using Chat GPT for this and answering some questions, I found my word for this year! It's....
Allow.
This year, I chose this word because it feels soft, steady, and brave all at once. I'm entering a season where I don't want to force anything into place. I don't want to grip so tightly that I miss the goodness right in front of me. I don't want to rush my healing, my growth, or my joy. I just want to be present for what's unfolding—and trust that I don't have to wrestle life into shape for it to turn out beautifully.
Allow is my reminder to exhale. To let things go, instead of pushing. To trust myself instead doubting every step. To stay open instead of shrinking back. To receive goodness—love, peace, joy—without questioning if I deserve it.
It's a word that asks me to soften, not weaken...to step forward with openness, not fear...to make room for the unexpected blessings that just might be on their way.
I chose allow because this year, I want to stop resisting the good things meant for me. I want to allow calm. I want to allow connection. I want to allow joy. I want to allow love that feels steady and real. I want to allow myself to grow without rushing the process. This is the year I choose to open my hands, loosen my shoulders, and trust the timing of my own life.
This is the year I allow.
So, what say you? Have you ever experienced this feeling of an unexpected life? I'd love to hear from you, even if that's not something you know anything about. Thanks for reading my blog today, friends! Love to all.
Jenn
