Happy Tuesday, friends! I thought I'd do a little bit of rambling/talking here this morning, since I don't have any other content idea for now. This list of things I'm talking about today are things I've observed lately as someone who is no longer married. I hope you enjoy this kind of thing as I talk today!
→ I seem to notice whether or not men are married more these days. I always find myself looking at their left hands; I don't know why I do this, it's not like I'm looking for someone.
→ My phone keeps listening to me and I see lots of videos and reels that give dating advice to women my age. I think this is hilarious! Of course, talking about dating things with my phone out nearby is not helping this situation one bit.
This popped up on my Facebook yesterday; the app knows me well, right? This cracks me up! Another instance of my phone listening to me talk about men and tattoos. 🤣
→ I have a new routine at night when I "go to bed", and that is a lot of nights I talk to Marilyn last thing. I love this! She and I have gotten in the habit of "good morning" texts as well, which feels very sweet and caring. I also no longer watch TV to fall asleep, but instead, I watch videos on TikTok. I sleep with my phone on the bed under my pillow, and I keep my glasses nearby as well. I never turn my phone down or off, either, since I'm no longer married.
→ I'm extremely sensitive when it comes to married people. My church does this thing that I don't love, honestly, in that they "honor" the couples who've been married fifty plus years each week on Sunday in the service. I want to scream every time I witness this, and I want to yell out, "I would have LOVED to have been honored for this! I can still set a good and faithful example for people even though I'm unmarried." It's frustrating. I'm also sensitive to people being mean to their spouses, or talking about them like they're awful.
→ You know when you fill out paperwork, and you have to check a box that asks if you're married, divorced, or single? I will always check single, because checking the divorced checkbox feels like they're being super judgmental.
→ I thought I hated tech issues at home before, but I really hate them now that I'm alone a lot. I couldn't watch TV all weekend, because of technical problems. This is one thing that overwhelms me and is above my pay grade!
→ I need to have my weekends full; this isn't anything new, but I also have to make time for Mom, my sister Trish, and my friends during the times when I need to I'm not as busy. It's a lot to keep up, but I'm not complaining; the alternative is being at home for too many nights in a row, or neglecting the ones I love the most. This stood out to me Sunday when I talked to Noah; he's coming home this weekend for eight days, and we were talking about his plans. I know that he'll be home, but I don't plan on staying at home while he's here and I'm having to wait on him. I told him this, and he understood. I'll see him all that I can while still continuing with my life. I have plans to introduce my four guys to J this weekend, and I'm excited about that.
Thanks for being here to read my blog today, friends! Tell me something good about your Monday; mine is that I had a full day and I crossed some things off my to-do list. Your turn! Love to all.
Jenn ❤️
I think that is way too much to honor the couples every single Sunday. I get once a year, but come on. Also, it does send the wrong message to people who are divorced or what about widows that would have loved to make it that long. I also got upset at school when the principal would call out certain teachers for public accolades because it makes the others feel lesser. I tried to remember that in my classes.
ReplyDeleteYou are hyper aware of marriage now. You are also going through a phase of analyzing what it means to you. It's like when you get a new car and then suddenly you see them everywhere. Kind of!
I think you are super busy now but it will settle down eventually. And, you don't have to see people who are important to you x number of times to make them know that. I don't think you should hyper fixate on that. Not saying that you are. I don't have the luxury of being close to any family but a text saying you are thinking of them can keep you close. Phone calls or Facetimes can be great, too. Find the rhythm of your week and weekend that will also include work soon and take care of you first. What nights do you want to devote to Jenn and Jenn only and what nights do you have open for the others - or days if it's on the weekend. Just my two cents worth!
It IS too much, and I agree about it making others (like the widows/widowers) feel less than because they'll never achieve that. I was literally robbed of that opportunity like so many others! I'm not complaining about being divorced now, though, because I'm still glad that I am and I love my life. I'm having fun being with friends and doing things like playing Bunco like I am tonight.
DeleteI do think things will settle down for me more once work starts, and I like how you said that I don't have to see someone a certain amount of times to prove my love. I feel like my Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays will be all mine each week while I work full time, with an occasional outing on those nights sometimes. Thanks for your input! I always appreciate different perspectives.
Love how you vented today- that is healthy. 99% of the time you are positive but how can you not vent when you have been through hell and it was out of your control. As I have said before, however, you are THRIVING :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't really intend to vent here today, but I did! You're totally right, and it's good to get things out every once in a while. I feel like I'm thriving right now in life, but thank you for always cheering me on! It's a fun time in life, this time of friends, my guy friend, and lots of fun things that we're talking about or planning. I'm trying to soak up all the moments!
DeleteIt's so creepy that our phones listen to us and then give recommendations for products based on that! We just had an example of that when someone was talking about a unique product and all of the sudden the person's phone had advertisements for it. It makes you want to chuck the phone across the room... until you remember that you look at it every 30 seconds or so, lol. I can see how your perspective on marriage would change. And, I often think about things around the house that I would have so much trouble with if my husband wasn't around to do or deal with them. I hope all goes well with J meeting your boys- how exciting to think of an eight day visit from Noah!
ReplyDeleteIt IS creepy! That made me laugh about throwing the phone, but you're right. I'd miss it too much! I think about that same thing all the time: things I took for granted having a husband at home to help out with. I don't know why I let the tech stuff get to me, but I hate it when it happens. I think it's partly because of where things are located; they're hard for me to get to! Thanks for that! I can't wait for them to meet him and vice versa. He's excited to talk cars with them!
DeleteAww! The new night time routine of yours did make me smile. I go to bed and watch TikTok videos too. The texts with Marilyn are so cute.
ReplyDeleteDivorced shouldn't really be an option on paperwork, it does seem judgemental.
How exciting to have Noah home and for J to meet your boys. I hope it goes well.
That's funny that you watch TikTok videos at night as well! Isn't that a true statement about the "divorced" option? That needs to be removed. I'm excited to see my Noah and to have them all meet J! Thanks for that, friend.
DeleteI think it's always good to vent and get it out! You are not wrong in how you are feeling!!! You have such a positive attitude!! It is funny (weird/creepy) how our phones are listening to us!
ReplyDeleteCreepy is right. Phones and any smart device is the best friend of globalists, corporations and oppressive big governments. We are all under constant surveillance for often nefarious agendas, many folks in who run alternative media sites rightly warn that phones are like an electronic monitor ankle bracelet.
DeleteThank you for that, Heather! I think so too, as long as it's in healthy moderation. I try to not do this kind of thing too often, because it just keeps going and becomes an endless cycle. It's so creepy!
DeleteAnonymous- you are definitely not wrong!
DeleteIt's not a good idea to sleep with a phone on the bed or around pillows, blankets. Lithium batteries can catch on fire for various reasons. There are too many stories in the news, internet of phones sparking, igniting, exploding on bedding even when not plugged into a charger.
ReplyDeleteThat is true, I'm sure, but we're not safe from them exploding or catching fire anywhere, no matter where they sit.
DeleteGreat shot.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteMy husband and I are coming to Germantown / Cordova area for the first time this weekend to the Agricenter Showplace for a horse event. I already have the farmer's market on my list there at the showplace and going to John Mark's store! Any other great restaurants or must shop stores (fun shops, consignment, etc) you can recommend in the area?
ReplyDeleteThat's fun! The agricenter has a great farmer's market and shops that you'll be right by. I would definitely do those! And while you're in the area, you should see Shelby Farms, one of the largest urban parks in the country. There's a great restaurant over there called Coastal, and there are lots of trails and activities to do. You should definitely eat Memphis BBQ from Central; it's the best in the city, in my humble opinion! And if you could see the downtown area, that would be cool as well, especially the pyramid/Bass Pro Shop. If you come out to Collierville, go to the square! There are great little shops and places to eat while you're there. It's so pretty and my favorite spot in the Memphis area. I hope that helps!
DeleteGosh, I hit enter before I finished. Here's the rest: The phone are 100% listening lol a friend showed me an ad on her FB, we vaguely discussed it and didn't describe the item in detail. Bam a few hours later the same ad showed up on my phone. You'd think it was targeting women, but it was an almost life size tractor lake float and it had a giant cooler / ice chest where the hood would be; definitely too much of a coincidence.
ReplyDeleteThat's so crazy! You're so right, though; it's no respecter of persons. One other food idea is to eat catfish somewhere; there's a great spot in Germantown called Soul Fish Cafe. Their catfish is to die for! It's a Southern thing, if you've never had it, but it's a fried white fish. If you want to meet for coffee or something, reach out! My email is allboys@gmail.com.
DeleteMichael and I don't always wear our rings, so that's not always a good indication of marriage status. And my uncle doesn't even have a ring! That is so awesome that you will have Noah home for awhile. My weekend with the kids home went way to fast!
ReplyDeleteThis is true of a lot of people I know! I never really knew this, though. I was used to us both always wearing our rings! I know it went too fast; I am sure you loved every minute of them at home!
DeleteMy husband hasn't worn a ring since we were newlyweds and I often forget to put mine back on.. that said so many guys we know don't wear their rings so I am really aware when I'm around married men that are since I am not used to seeing rings on guys hands. I bet you can't wait to see Noah! How exciting to have him home for so long.
ReplyDeleteI do remember you saying this! It's strange how I've never noticed this now that I'm hyper aware of wedding rings now. I am so excited to hug him! I can't wait.
DeleteYour comment about honoring the couples that have been married 50 years reminded me of how hard it was for me to go to church on Mother's Day when I was struggling with infertility - but that was only once a year! Being subjected to it every week is really hard! I wonder if this has ever been addressed? Honestly, when the time is right it could be great feedback.
ReplyDeleteI think the way you have handled yourself is positively inspirational! You show such a good understanding of yourself and what you have been through. You should be very proud of yourself!
Yes! It's the same concept. I'm sorry you had to sit through that! It's hard! I do think I'll eventually address this, since I have such strong feelings about it. Thank you for your kind words! I don't feel like that's true all of the time, but I have tried my best, despite some major setbacks. I do appreciate you saying that, though, and encouraging me to keep holding my head high and being proud of myself. XOXO
DeleteCheck, check, and check! Spot on with the post today my friend!
ReplyDeletehey Jenn :) I wonder if the church is trying to encourage people by honoring those who have stuck with their marriages. These days, it's definitely something to be celebrated. But this made me think of the social media trend of announcing your pregnancy and then feeling like you have to apologize to all the people who can't or don't have kids. This robs the joy from those who can. And like Amy was mentioning, you can't announce the "winners" because that makes the losers feel offended? We've definitely become a society that steals the joy from others, because we might have to feel something else. But really, that 's a heart issue among society. It's called jealousy or competition. I'm about to have my 36th wedding anniversary and I'm very proud of that. Our marriage hasn't been perfect and we've been through some hard stuff, but we've made it this far and I'm proud of it. We all have things that make us jealous or offended, but it's always up to us to work that out with the Lord. But other people shouldn't have to bury their joy or accomplishments to cater to those who have blessings in other areas, but not that particular area. I hope one day you'll start to feel a calm come over you and your household and be able to rest in God's plans for your future. I believe he will redeem all you've lost. Take care :)
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