Happy Monday, friends! I'm linking up with Holly and Sarah for today's blog post. How was your weekend? Mine was really good! Here are some things I loved about the weekend that flew by with lightning speed.
I had dinner with Marilyn Friday night, then I hung out with the guy I've been seeing...and Saturday was very lazy for me with a little bit of laundry thrown in between naps. It seriously was the least productive day ever, but it was one I needed, so I'm good with how I spent the time. I was resting up for that night, since I knew Mar and I would be out late! I packed a bag with church clothes for me to spend the night with her, then I was at her house by five. We left and grabbed an early dinner at Chick Fil A before the concert.
I dressed as coolly and comfortably as possible since it was literally hotter than Hades outside, and this was what I came up with. The sandals felt great since I knew we'd be walking a long way to the venue and to our seats. I definitely made the right choice in what I wore!
Chris met us for dinner! I wanted him to meet Marilyn; we sat there for about an hour before we left for the concert. I'm glad they got to meet.
We got extra large sized drinks (and water) to stay hydrated, then we found our seats.
The opening act was a man from Ireland named Cian Ducrot; he was really good! His first few songs made us laugh really hard, but I don't feel comfortable mentioning the titles of them here since this my blog is PG. 🤣 He was burned in a past relationship, and chose to write songs about the trauma he suffered from that; let's just say that we both related to all the songs!
We were sweating like crazy, but we were ready for Teddy!
Friends, this was an incredible concert, for sure the best I have ever been to! His voice is beautiful, and for part of the concert, I was brought to tears between his voice and the lyrics to the songs he was singing. Does singing do that to you? It has the power to bring out all the emotions I'm feeling, even if I don't know I'm feeling them at the moment. I loved the name of his tour: I've Tried Everything But Therapy. There was a "group therapy wall" where you could write whatever you needed to write that you'd brought with you to the concert.
It's hard to read, but I wrote, "all the emotions of my divorce". I don't know why I've been emotional about this lately; it's not like anything has changed, and it's not that I miss
him at all, because I don't. It's just that I'm in this weird phase of resenting my singleness and also not wanting a relationship. But when I'm alone, I get lonely, so I keep going on dates and meeting people. Chris is someone I'm interested in, but he's about to be moving further away from me. That bothers me, not that I'd ever hold it against him, it just seems like the timing isn't great. I don't know how it will work with that distance, but it does make me a little sad. He keeps saying we'll make it work, so we'll see what happens.
I want to believe that, but I'm in a weird phase of not believing any man I meet. I've been lied to so many times that it's hard to get past that, you know? So when I come across one that says something direct, like he's not looking for love, but for a fling, I respect that. Not that I want that, because I don't, but at least he has the brevity to say that, you know? No pretenses! That is what I need. Chris seems so good...he told me that he was catching feelings for me, and that he's second guessing his decision to move further away. I just keep thinking of what good old Mel Robbins says, about how actions are words in motion. I need the action of what a man says.
I didn't mean to put all of that out there today, but there it is. Life is weird, y'all. I love it and hate it, all at once. The good far, far outweighs the bad, though. I just like to be real here and not pretend that everything is always perfectly fine, because I definitely struggle a lot. While I'm on the subject of dating, I'll talk about a few pet peeves of mine as well, pertaining to that. I talk about things like this with friends who are in the same situation as me, so why not share it here as well? It might shed a little perspective in how you talk to friends who are in a similar life situation.
Now that I'm divorced, it's like people think I don't have a brain. They tell me things like, "be careful", or "don't meet him at his house for the first date", as if I'm the dumbest person to ever walk the earth. What in the world? People are also quick to offer advice or offer their opinions, and quite honestly, I just don't want them. What I do want are well wishes and encouragement! I need that and don't want or need the unsolicited advice. I also don't like when people tell me I'm not ready for a relationship or to take things slow, because I know that as well! And nobody really knows what I need or don't need except for me. I don't know why I'm spouting off today about all of this, I guess I was in a mood when I wrote this on Sunday. My friend was texting me about a guy we both know and dated, and I got pretty fired up about what she told me. I'm the friend who gets mad for her friends!
That is a lot of words and feelings for a Monday morning blog post, but I guess it feels good to say it out loud here. You all are so supportive of me, and I greatly appreciate that. Thank you for listening here today, friends...and for always reading my blog and being so kind to me. You mean the world to me. Tell me about your weekend; what was a favorite moment? Please take my mind off all this and tell me! I'd love to hear from you today. Love to all!
Jenn
Nothing like a good blog vent to help you feel better though, right?! Sometimes you've juts gotta say it. Other than being hot as Hades it sounds like a great concert night. I give you credit for even showing up-- the weather for sure would have had me second guessing myself.
ReplyDeleteWhew! Nothing like a good blog vent. I honestly didn't plan on doing that, but it just started and wouldn't stop. Ha! It was such a great concert, and though the weather was hot and I kind of dreaded it at first, I'm so glad we made it through. It was worth all the sweating, and I'd do it all over again if given the chance!
DeleteIt sounds like the concert was therapeutic with the topics of relationships and the emotional lyrics. I just wish it weren't so dang hot! I have missed out on so many potentially fun things this summer because of the heat and the fact that I am a baby about the heat.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine you are grieving your old life and being married and part of a couple. That would be so hard. It wasn't your choice.
Guilty. I have said all of those things to you but I didn't mean it out of thinking you are dumb or anything like that! It's brave to put yourself out there in the dating world and you are getting an education through doing so I can imagine. You are learning so much about yourself and what kind of man you want in your life now or in the future.
I think you are doing great with your new life!
I get missing out because of the heat; I dreaded that part of the concert, but was glad to have survived. It was worth it all! I do forget that I am still grieving my old life, you are so right. I am so hard on myself when it comes to this and always think I should be over it by now. But then something triggers emotions, and it comes at me in waves! I wasn't directing this at you, I promise. I do appreciate the kind thoughts, but I've been on the receiving end of intentions that felt nosy and judgmental from some people in my life. That's nobody here in blog world! I just have to learn to better communicate my feelings when that kind of thing happens to stop it when it happens.
DeleteI am still learning about myself! Thank you for cheering me on, friend. That means the world to me!
Well, I'm kind of afraid to comment now :) hahaha! But I get it. I think all the advice comes from others just genuinely caring about you and wanting the best for you. But sometimes we don't want to hear it, even if it's all true and with good intentions. I guess I would just say that when something real comes along, you won't have to strive to make it work. It just will. You won't have to beg or manipulate any situation. Not that you have! But when it's a God-ordained relationship, it will all fall into place and feel different than any other you've had so far. Ok, don't hate me! I want the best for you and hope you have a great week at work with all your precious kiddos. Bye!
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh! Don't be afraid to comment! 🤣 I know people love me and have good intentions; it's just that how it's said often comes across as if I hadn't thought of that myself. This is nobody here in the blogging world either, just people in my real life. I've had this conversation with other women in my life who are in my situation, and it's a common thread.
DeleteI love everything you said about the timing of finding someone. It's so true! Thank you for that reminder, sweet friend. Happy Monday!
Well, I went on and on and ziploc bag organization in my post- you never know what you're going to read in a blog post and I think that's one of the reasons a number of us like to read blogs- to read the realness and the good and bad of what we share. With regard to what people tell you, I think it's due to a mixture of things. The proliferation of books, true crime podcasts, and shows/movies depicting stories of not good endings for women have people naturally thinking about safety for women they care about who are dating. I also feel like "bad endings" happen a bit more to women who are dating following a divorce- it's like bad actors prey on women who've been through a lot. I don't know. I feel like no one would say the things they do due to honestly thinking you hadn't thought of them- it's more like a reminder to be careful in general maybe? Anyway, I'm glad the concert was good! It was a hot weekend here, too. I know we're all looking forward to fall!
ReplyDeleteYou made me laugh about your Ziploc bag organization! You never know, right? It's true about today and why people tend to remind me of things...it just is a little offensive as if they thought I hadn't already considered that. This is nobody in blog world, by the way, but people in my life who offer advice and judgment. It's not a great feeling! It's not just me that this happens to, either, but to many of us who are in the same situation.
DeleteYou get it all, I'm sure. Thanks for that! I hope your weekend was great and that your week gets off to a great start!
Oh wow. It sounds like a full and fun weekend 😃. Well done for putting yourself out there, I am sure it takes courage.Enjoy the fun bits and have faith that eventually you will end up with a most wonderful man for your happily ever after.
ReplyDeleteIt was fun and full, you're right! Thank you for your encouragement, that means the world to me. Have a great day!
DeleteLOVE how real you are- I believe in this and devoured your words- you are human my friend- I am happy and excited for you and I know it is not always easy and grief comes in waves for sure- embrace the JOY- you deserve it all and btw I am so jealous that you and Marilyn got to go to Teddy Swims- ahhh-he is one of my faves- what a voice!
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend! I just decided to put it all out there today for some reason. Some days call for that, I guess. He was incredible! I can't stop listening to him right now, and am mesmerized by his songs and lyrics.
DeleteThe only advice that I give my single friends is concealed carry with a permit, or at the very least pepper spray.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the realness of a post like this. You're in a season where everything isn't as you would like it to be and what better place to work out some of your feelings than here? I have often put things in writing on my blog that I was still trying to figure out in my head and seeing things in writing sometimes brings clarity. I do think most people who say be careful, etc probably just care about you and want you to be happy and safe and aren't assuming you don't already know to actually be careful. Somehow it makes us feel better to say it. When my daughter flew recently I of course said 'safe travels' and she sent me back a meme that said, ' okay, I'm back here in row 37 with my iced coffee, but I'll do my best to keep this plane in the air'. Ha! I get it, but I'm still gonna say safe travels. Hope you have a great day!
ReplyDeleteSometimes you need a not very productive day.
ReplyDeleteThe concert sounds fantastic fun and I love your extra large drink and Teddy Swims! It sounds like it brought all the emotions out.
Thank you for sharing about how you feel about your divorce, dating and everything in-between. I admire your honesty and your realness. Have a fab week.