Hey, friends. I wanted to share a quick post with you this morning that I made on social media yesterday. Here it is below and the words I wrote.
It’s a different and quiet birthday morning. For the second year in a row, I’ve woken up with this deep longing of missing people who used to be in my life, my dad being at the top of that list. It’s weird waking up not knowing if your people will even remember your birthday since they don’t have anyone to remind them anymore. I’m sure they will eventually reach out to me today, they’re good like that.
But it’s different being on your own. I’ve had several cards that I’ve been hanging onto because I wanted to have something to read when I woke up this morning. I’m not one who treasures things, but words? I hang onto those. It was a blessing to save those cards and read all the messages my friends and students at school wrote. Honestly, a lot of them made me cry, but that’s also not a hard thing to do.
I am feeling extremely grateful for another year of life, for my sons, my amazing family, and for this incredible support system of friends who love me dearly. I often don’t feel worthy of that kind of love, but God gave me all of these wonderful people who have been life lines to me. Because of that gratitude and because I’m a reflective kind of person, I spent some time doing one of my favorite things already today: I wrote out a thank You prayer to God in my journal while Christmas worship music played in the background. I savored my coffee and enjoyed not having to rush off so early to be anywhere. I loved waking up to texts and FB birthday messages and responding back to some of the more personal ones (I’ll definitely get back to all of them at some point).
And where else would I want to spend my birthday then at church with so many friends? I’ve been there all weekend, actually, but have loved that time spent singing. I write all of this just to say that I’m grateful for today, for the start of another year of life. Life looks so different than what I thought it would be like, but I’m okay with that. There are still days when I struggle and honestly I felt that when I first woke up today, but the Lord was sweet to turn it around for me. Even saying it all here is like therapy. He really has been faithful to me all of my life. Here’s to year 49. 
It was an okay weekend; I don't mean to be all maudlin here, but I feel like I have so many things on my mind. I literally woke up with all the feelings yesterday. I wanted to mention this today, because I honestly don't know if I'll be back here to write this week. Of course that could change and I'll be back each day. I'm okay, nothing has changed with me and Chris, and my family members are all well. It's just me feeling all of the things, and after spending part of last night with Marilyn and telling her this, I may just need a break to prevent even more of the burnout that I'm currently feeling.
I'm only sharing this today because I feel like if I don't, a lot of you will wonder or even text me. I'm open to talking! Just not here. I pray you have the best week, in case I don't "see" you here again for a while. Thanks for always being here to encourage me and to read my posts. Love to all.
Jenn ❤️
Love you Jenn- you got this XO
ReplyDeleteLove you, too, friend. I got this.
DeleteHere is to year 49 my friend! And a big hug! Love you!
ReplyDeleteHere's to year 49! I'm going away for my birthday next year. I can't take another sad year!
DeleteTake all the time you need! Write if you feel moved to put your thoughts on paper and post if you feel like it, but if not that's ok. Be kind to yourself. You have had so many changes and a busy semester. Your body, mind, soul is tired. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThanks, friend. I will. I wrote a lot today in my journal; that feels so healing! You are so right about my mind, body, and soul needing a rest. Much love to you!
DeleteWe will miss you on this space but that is not what´s important. Rest and get rejuvenated and write when you can, whether that´s this week, next week or next year. I hope you felt so loved and cherished on your birthday and that feeling lasts all year :). Love you friend!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this, friend. You are so right! I hope to be back this week, but I'll take it day by day and just see how I feel. Love you!
DeleteSending grace and peace your way from Waco!
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend. Much love!
DeleteI think that the holidays - while they can be wonderful - often cause us to be reflective. Given all your life changes, it is no wonder you are feeling introspective. Good for you that you are taking time to listen to your heart, to pause, and to pay attention! And it seems that you are doing what is most important and turning first to God! Many prayers and blessings of the season! I also hope you take the time to process all your feelings and enter a new year feeling refreshed and renewed!
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right. Thank you for the kind words, my friend. Much love to you.
DeleteLife is hard. Which makes the holidays even harder. Take the time you need to focus on whatever you need to focus on. Happy birthday. Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteIt is, and we're all walking our own battles. Thank you, friend. xoxo
DeleteHappy Birthday, my dear friend. You are very wise. Take the time you need and surround yourself with what makes you feel peace and comfort. We will be here when you return!
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend! I think it's important to pay attention to the cues our minds/bodies give us. Mine is definitely telling me to slow down.
DeleteAw, happy birthday! I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down but I do think it's smart to take the time to yourself and prevent your burnout from getting even worse.
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend! Much love. xoxo
DeleteSending love and hugs. So sorry things are hard for you at the moment. I hope things are better soon.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday.
Thank you, Kim! Much love, friend.
DeleteWe will miss you here, but taking care of YOU is the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend! For this, and for the sweet birthday card you sent me! Much love.
DeleteThe world feels dark now too which I'm sure doesn't help with all you're already feeling. I say if you need a break take one. It's a busy time of year and it's an emotional season too. We've had a lot of sad things going on with friends this year, and an extended family situation that's painful too, and honestly I'm ready for 2026. Our own family is fine, but it's all been a lot. I hope this new year is filled with lots of love and joy.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this, friend. I totally get your sentiment; this is what I often think of when I think of friends bearing the burdens of their people. That's what we all do for each other, so that we can pray for them and lift them up when they're too weak to stand on their own. I know I've been on the receiving end of that so many times; I'm so thankful for the gift this is to be able to do that for one another. I'm sorry that your family and friends have been walking through hard things; we are all battling something, right? Much love to you, my friend. xoxo
Delete