I'm Better Now

Well, that last post showed how frayed my nerves were. I calmed down after all that praying and writing, and hugged the boys and told them how much I loved them. We have since had another talk about behavior, and after talking to my neighbor the 4 kid guru, all has been much more pleasant. It helped that we got out and did something different yesterday, as well. We went to the church to do the choir music, and I was sending them on errands left and right. There's nothing like feeling needed and responsible to make their day.

They also talked to a really cool guy at the church, Ben Fanning. They hung out in his office and did stuff with him...he even invited Graham and Drew to get onto facebook and chat with him. Not sure about that, BUT, he helped them as well. I used to love doing stuff like that...I would go to work with my dad and I would talk to one of the men that worked there. He would put up with me for hours on end.

Last night they spent the night with our friends...all 4 of them and never again, but more about THAT later...and today we're going to swim with Sunny, Holly and Andy. Tomorrow night, Todd is taking them all to Uncle Bob's farm for some work and fun. Work for Todd, fun for the boys. Well, actually, it's fun for them all....they get to ride 4 wheelers and tractors. I mean, it doesn't get any better. They don't know about this little trip yet, I may use it as bribery. =)

This weekend is the Beth Moore simulcast!!! I'm so excited...disappointed that not more people are coming, we've only sold around 150 tickets, but excited about what God is going to do. I cannot wait...I had a prayer meeting last night before church, and today I've been praying for all the women attending. I cannot wait!!!! I'm honored that my sister will be there with me...this kind of stuff always creates a bond.

Well, I'm going to get off this thing...I'm going to pick up my book and enjoy these last few moments of solitude before all the kids come storming in. Oh, one more thing...guess what we did on our night without the kids???? We went to church and shopped for school supplies. How pathetic are we?? The church thing can't be helped...choir practices on Wed. nights, and as for school supplies...well, I was buying for 8, so I desperately needed and wanted my man's help. Eight, you're asking?? Well, we let each of the boys get school supplies for one needy child. Our church is taking them downtown on Saturday to distribute. Every year, our church purchases around 300 backpacks, we take them home and fill them, then the church distributes them during sidewalk Sunday school. If this weekend had not already been planned, we would have been there helping, but plans had already been made. Anyway, the supplies are all sorted and waiting for their labels. I'm going to see if Todd will let me use their new label maker to label them all. Otherwise, I'd be labeling all day. You should have seen the mounds of stuff we had on our kitchen table...I should have taken a picture. Alright...goodbye for now.

Kids

Do you ever have those days when the kids just drive you bonkers??? I love my kids, those of you who read this KNOW I love them so much, but they make me crazy sometimes. Just today, for instance, I had taken the boys swimming with my sister Tricia. When we were done, she left, and I headed upstairs to take a shower. Not a problem, right, because my kids are older and responsible. HA! I finished my shower and was in a nightshirt toweling off my hair when I heard Andy the dog barking ferociously. I peeked out my window and saw a big delivery truck with no name on it. Next thing I know, GRAHAM OPENS THE FRONT DOOR AND PROCEEDS TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH A COMPLETE AND TOTAL STRANGER.

It was Disabled Veterans, or someone like that, here to pick up a delivery I had scheduled. Which I forgot about. I was so completely flabbergasted, I didn't even know what to do. It's like I was watching someone else react to someone's horrible kids. =) I had Graham tell the man, "My mom will be with you in a minute", and made him shut the door. I rushed downstairs and barely opened the door (after all, I was in a nightshirt with a towel wrapped turban style around my head like Poonjab from Annie), and told him I was sorry, but I didn't have anything. Then I went off on my 9 year old, back talking, thinks he knows it all, is mean to his brothers, son.

I was yelling, I admit. I completely went ballistic on that child. I lectured on the importance of NOT ANSWERING THE DOOR, and especially not telling them, "My mom is in the bathroom getting dressed". I probably went way overboard and even told him that had that man been a bad man, he could have snatched Graham out the front door, stuck him in the back of that non-descriptive truck, and taken him somewhere and killed him. I was trying to make a point. And, that really could happen. Especially in today's world. I had him in tears, and Drew was just dumbstruck and stood there taking it all in. I think I made my point.

I just went back into my bathroom, shut and locked the door (after shutting and locking the front door and telling Graham unless I told him to answer the door, that he was not allowed to do so again), turned up the radio and the hairdryer and just started praying. I literally did not know what else to do. Trust me when I say that this is not just about him answering the door today, it's a culmination of things that have been building up for a while. The boys (especially Graham because of his age) have become very disrespectful, and have been doing things they normally would not have done. They've been mean to each other, they've aggravated each other, Graham has taken up the lovely habit of talking rudely to me, they argue nonstop...the list goes on. They are not bad kids...at least they won't be when I'm finished with them...it's just like they've forgotten their manners. Mom and Phyllis, when you're finished laughing, you can finish reading this post. =)

I know these are things all kids do...I did them myself, and so did my niece and nephews. And I also know they could be a lot worse...I'm just venting. And admitting that maybe, after all, that I am the teeniest bit excited about school starting so I CAN HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET!!!!! Yes, I am human, and for anyone that has ever called me superMom...I'm not. I lose my temper, I freak out at my kids when I shouldn't, I lock them out of my room with the radio blaring, I will admit I have even been known to hide in the bathroom with the door locked so they would not come in and interrupt a telephone conversation. This is a rare moment, people...I am admitting all my flaws for God and everyone to see. This is when this blog takes the place of my journal...maybe I'll go back to just journaling for privacy...or maybe, if you know of another mom that is having a rough day with her kids, or if you are one, you can either encourage her or be encouraged yourself.

One last thing...I've been told it only gets worse, so those of you who know me and love me...pray for me. You think I'm joking, but seriously, I'm not.

Proverbs 4:1 Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. 2 I give you sound leaning, so do not forsake my teaching. 3 When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of my mother, 4 he taught me and said, "Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live. 5 Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them. 6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. 7 Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom, though it cost all you have, get understanding. 8 Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. 9 She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor." 10 Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. 11 I will guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. 12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. 13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.

So, in verse 10...I didn't know that King Solomon had a nine year old son named Graham. Hmmm......lol.......

126th Post

I cannot believe I have written that much. I must have a lot to say. Ha ha, not really. The bad thing about this blog is that it has taken the place of journaling. I still write in my journal, just not as much and not so much at length like I used to. I have actually turned my journal into a prayer journal. I write prayers out to God...there is something so cleansing about that. And I've always been better at writing thoughts instead of speaking them. I also still use my journal to write out Scripture. There is something very powerful about reading aloud God breathed Scripture as prayer.

For those of you here (in Memphis or around) who are reading this and did not get my email about the Beth Moore simulcast, WE STILL HAVE TICKETS!!!!!! I have asked, begged, and pleaded for you to come...and I will do so one more time. It's this weekend, people! I assure you, even if she ever comes to Memphis for a live event, it will cost much much more than $25! When I went to the Deeper Still conference in Nashville back in September, even though I was there live, I didn't actually look at her...I looked at the enormous jumbotron. I couldn't even SEE her without my glasses. Your life will be changed as a result of this weekend...and it's so awesome to join your girlfriends and worship together!! God is working through us ladies, I pray that you will make an effort to come and join us and see what God does! If you have questions or need more info, go here.

We had church yesterday. I don't mean we went to church, I mean we HAD church. God is moving in our church, He's making some changes, and He's pulling us all together as His body, and it is awesome! We had some anointed praise and worship...this is the third week in a row that I have cried like a baby. That's when I know that God is meeting us...you just can't help the tears that come. This was after an incredible week of family vacation Bible school, too. We had around 150 kids each night, and about 15 kids came to know the Lord as a result! Praise His name!!! It was so cool, too, that last night Pastor Ben had kids come up that wanted to pray for the first time to ask Jesus into their hearts, and we had some kids that went through Evangelism Explosion that came up and prayed with them! It was so neat! Of course not all the kids could pray for someone alone, there were 4 or 5 that came up and about 20 kids who went down to the front to pray, but they all gathered around and prayed as a group for these kids. Incredible.

I am on fire today...I hope God will use me through this...please join me in prayer for this coming weekend at my church. I am praying that lives will be changed, and that we who go to that church will reach out to visitors in love and acceptance, no matter the background, no matter the sin. We are all sinners saved by God's amazing grace, all sin is the same in His eyes. I hope you all have a blessed Monday...God love you all.

Lazy Day

I'm having a lazy day; it's almost 4 and I'm still in the pajamas I slept in. I don't feel all that great, so at least I have that for an excuse. My husband gave me his cold...and I told him not to kiss me with his cooties! Kidding...I don't know if it's a cold of sinus, but either way, I feel like my head is in a tunnel. So, we're being lazy.

Sunny, David, Andy and Holly came over last night....we just sat and talked because it'd been so long since we were around each other. Andy and Holly ended up spending the night with us. After they went home, the boys and I watched Dr. Doolittle 3, then we all snuggled together with Todd since he's working tonight. Fun stuff.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one crying over my babies starting school...I mentioned it last night, and Sunny started crying. She got me started, too, and David and Todd just shook their heads, started laughing and left us boo-hooing at my dining room table. We managed to stop, dried our eyes, and decided we're going to start a week day morning support group for each other. Coffee together, at least once a week, probably at her house since her kids ride the bus and mine are dropped off.

I'm trying to find the brighter side, people, bear with me. And if I call you crying, promise not to laugh at me!

I love this song! It's called Empty Me, by Chris Sligh (American Idol guy). Here are the lyrics:

I've had just enough
of the spotlight when it burns bright
to see how it gets in the blood
I've tasted my share
of the sweet life and the wild ride
and found a little is not quite enough
I know how I can stray
and how fast my heart can change

Empty me of the selfishness inside
every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
and any foolish thing my heart holds onto
Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with You

I've seen just enough
of the quick buys of the best lies
to know how prodigals can be drawn away
I know how I can stray
and how fast my heart could change

Cause everything is a lesser thing
compared to You, compared to You
cause everything is a lesser thing
compared to You, so I surrender all

It's Almost Time

I took Jonah and Noah for their kindergarten checkups yesterday. Everything is a go for them to go to school now. Everything that is, but me. I have friends praying for me right now, that I'll be able to let them go without making a complete and utter fool of myself walking out of the building that first day of school. It just seems like yesterday when they were born. I remember holding them both in my arms at the same time, not believing that I had been blessed with 2 little bundles of joy! And I remember thinking how long away kindergarten was.

I know that they are ready...even if Jonah may have a bit of a separation issue. We've talked about it a lot, because I want him to understand that he will be leaving me for several hours everyday. He promised he wouldn't cry, but I don't have much faith in that promise. The good thing is that I did request their teachers, and I know he already likes his teacher. I just pray that he will get the one I requested!

Anyway, yesterday I took them for their checkups. It's good to know that they can both hear good, see well, and are in the normal range for weight and height. Jonah is in the 10th percentile for weight and height, Noah's in the fiftieth percentile. The doc. asked if there had always been that big a difference in them. It was interesting during their vision test. The nurse had me cover one eye so they could read with the other one. On one line, she told Noah to say what she was pointing to, and he just sat there. She said, "Noah, can you see that?" He answered, quite sarcastically, "Yeah, I can see it, I just don't know what it is." It was a picture of a teeny tiny flag. I didn't know what it was either. The nurse was kind of put out with him...she wasn't my favorite. Jonah had it easier because he watched Noah go first.

The doctor told them each (at different times) to draw a picture of either themselves or a family member. Noah did it right away without being told a second time, but when Jonah went to do it, he drew a stick person with just a head and no facial features. He gave the pen back to Dr. Fesmire, and when the doc. looked at it, he laughed and said, "Jonah, that's not good enough. Draw some more." Jonah said, "I'm tired of drawing." When I gave him THE LOOK he decided maybe he wasn't so tired after all. That child's mouth is going to be the death of him. We're having some issues on how he talks to adults, and how NOT to talk back. It's obviously not working yet. I did make him apologize, though, and then he straightened up.

Anyway, it's funny, the twin thing, I mean. Their drawings were almost identical. Freaky, huh? Even their eyesight...that was identical. I think she said that their vision was 20/30, which is normal, I guess. They each had to have 4 shots. My poor babies. I don't understand why that can't be more spaced out so they don't have to have so many at once, but my other 2 did, as well. Jonah flipped out when he learned how many they were getting. He said, "She said I'm getting HOW MANY?????" Then the crying started. For BOTH of them. Once one cries, the other one still cries. Noah even cried while Jonah was getting his shots. Sympathy pains, I guess. Poor little Jonah worked himself up so much, he threw up before we left.

Well, all is better today, even though Jonah is walking around like an old man saying, "when are these shots going to stop hurting??" Motrin is the wonder drug.

Psalm 103

Psalm 103
1 Let all that I am praise the LORD; with my whole heart, I will praise His holy name. 2 Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me, 3 He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. 4 He redeems from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. 5 He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle's! 6 The LORD gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly. 7 He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel. 8 The LORD is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. 9 He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. 10 He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. 11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. 12 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. 13 The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. 14 For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. 15 Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. 16 The wind blows, and we are gone- as though we had never been here. 17 But the love of the LORD remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children's children 18 of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments! 19 The LORD has made the heavens his throne; from there he rules over everything. 20 Praise the LORD, you angels, you mighty ones who carry out his plans, listening for each of his commands. 21 Yes, praise the LORD, you armies of angels who serve him and do his will! 22 Praise the LORD, everything he has created, everything in all his kingdom. Let all that I am praise the LORD.