Monday, August 27, 2018

when your morning (or life in general) doesn't go as planned


I had such great intentions for this morning.  It's Drew's first day of his freshman year in college, and I had thought yesterday about the kind of picture I could take of him to post on social media as a proud mom moment.  I'm rolling my eyes at myself as I write that, because even though I did pay attention in church, that was when I had that thought.

All my kids forbid pictures most days now, though, so I knew it would have to be something like a picture of his bedroom after he left, or his backpack and to-go Yeti cup filled with the coffee I had made for him, or something else similar.  I even spent time scrolling through old pictures this morning, of a picture of him from when he was young, so I could write a sentimental post about him.

I'm still rolling my eyes at myself, but now I'm also shaking my head at myself.

Sometimes social media makes me really, really dumb.  And other times it makes me feel like a complete mom failure.

I'll stop here and add a spiritual side to this, because there is a spiritual picture to everything in life.  I believe that the enemy THRIVES in moments like this.  I tend to want to throw a pity party for myself, and I tend to feel like I've screwed up my kids in some horrible way, so much so that they'll need professional counseling someday.  Thankfully, though, the Lord usually gets a hold of me before I sink too far down into that pit.  That was the case today.  I realized the enemy was struggling to gain some footing over how I was feeling about all the things I didn't do with Drew before he left, and I just got up and moved on with my morning.  I am so thankful to God for how He pulls me up out of the pit, and I am so glad that He shows me when the enemy is trying to work.  This would be a good moment to pray on the spiritual armor of God, when things like this happen.  Sometimes I do that, and other times, I forget.

If you know me at all, you know I love social media.  Well, Instagram.  I love Instagram.  I somewhat tolerate Facebook and only get on to clear off my notifications.  Just give me all the pictures, and I'm happy.  Anyway, when I opened up Facebook this morning (even though I knew better than to do this, I did it anyway), those thoughts of how I'd failed to take a picture of him for his first day rose to the surface, as I saw picture after picture of college students, or things my friends did with their sons or daughters before they left for school.  I didn't sit and scroll, though, when I saw it, I just got off my phone and came over to the computer to start this blog post.

And even though I literally fell asleep close to midnight and woke up at five this morning praying for Drew, I failed to pray WITH him before he walked out the door.  The morning became weird, because he decided he wanted to leave really early so he could go grab breakfast somewhere and he wanted to get there in plenty of time to find out where he needed to go, because he'd never been to the downtown campus.  Because of that, he was out the door, and instead of calling him back or following him out to his truck, I just stood at the dining room window and watched him until he left, praying over him the whole time.

I guess that's the point of this post.  Even when something doesn't go like we think it will, it's not wasted time.  It's never too late to pray over one of your kids, even if it's not WITH them.  Realistically, that just doesn't usually happen in our house nowadays.  I know of families who are able to get it together enough to do family devotions or prayer each morning, and though I did do those things with my boys when they were younger, it never goes that way now.  I do always ask if they're spending time praying, though, and reading the word of God.  I think it's great if you're able to keep doing those things with your kids.  But I think it's okay if you don't continue on in those things, if you adapt them as they grow in age, or if you forget some or most mornings. 

And if you're anything like me, don't beat yourself up over that fact.  God knew when I woke up at five o'clock this morning, how the morning would already go, and He doesn't hold that against me, praise His holy name.  I think we're hard on ourselves as human beings because of social media.  As much as I love it most of the time, I have to remind myself of these things over and over (and over and over again).  We are never immune to getting stuck in the horrible trap of comparison, and sometimes we just have to put down our phones and walk away.  Trust me when I say that I am saying that for myself.  I get stuck in that pit so often, as I scroll through days like today, or if I see someone's perfectly put together house.  I will keep on reminding myself of this, as long as I stay on social media.

God is so very gracious to me to remind me of these things, and He is always bringing His words and these truths to my mind.  I'm so glad He does that, because I always need it, and will continue to need the constant reminders.  I pray this encourages someone who needs reminding of this today.  As a friend once told me, "Get a hold of yourself and pull it together!"  God knows.  He is sovereign.  And He is the One in control, making all the plans that He has already decided upon.  He is such a good Father to me.

Thanks for reading!  Love to all.

(P.s.  If you're one of the ones who posted such things about your student this morning, know that my issue with that was not at all with you!  I love seeing things like that.  The issue is ME and my heart.  I had to work it out with God before I wrote this.  Please keep on posting your sweet pictures!)

2 comments:

  1. You say that you love social media - hmmm. That is interesting. I'm not a fan really - and mainly because it leaves me feeling exactly as you described here. Well, for a few other reasons as well - but this one (and the comparison trap in general) seem to trip me up far too easily. The best way to avoid the IG trap...is no IG for me:) Thanks for sharing your heart here. I pray it will be read by exactly the one who needs it!

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  2. I say now that I have a love/hate relationship with it. I do love it for keeping up with people, like when my niece shares pics of her two sets of twins- yesterday she shared that they started their little preschool and you should have SEEN how precious they were! I also do enjoy being inspired there- to decorate and to cook or to clean. That being said, I can all too quickly slip and go the opposite direction and feel jealous of all the vacations I see my friends and their husbands or families take. (Just one tiny example.) It has really changed how I share there, because I never want to make someone stumble! So I totally see where you're coming from. I've almost deleted all my accounts a thousand times now, but when I get to that point, I just delete the apps from my phone. At this point I'd hate to lose all the pics I have there! I'm stuck. Ugh.

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